The RBI Drinking Game
On one lonely evening in October 1997, two disgruntled alcoholics named Mark Stehling and Gantry Zettler were devising a way to rid their Dekalb apartment of some beer. A week earlier our two heroes purchased a case of Sam Adams Double Bock, rumor has it in the reject ward of an Artificial Insemination Center. Little did they know this beer was so vile that no sane human or college student would touch it. At first they were able to pawn free bottles off on a few ignorant freshmen who happened to stumble in their apartment at 3am. Would spread quickly however and after two days nobody would dare touch it.
Since throwing out beer was penalized by anal probe at Northern Illinois University, these budding geniuses needed to devise a way to get the rest of this beer drank even though no moderately conscious person would go near it. Then a light struck - why don't we make a drinking game between the two of us where the object is to make your opponent drink as much Double Bock as possible? After using all their combined brain power to formulate this brilliant plan, the mental exhaustion suffered by these two masochists made them inable to do anything but reach out and grunt. Fortunately, Mark was able to grab two Nintendo controllers and the sheer simplicity of this game made establishing drinking rules possible through grunting. The rest as they say is history...
When playing the RBI Drinking Game, the standard set of rules are a little different than one might think. First off, you want to play a Straight Pitch throwing style. Secondly, the slow-ball pitch is strictly forbidden with two strikes. Although this may seem basic and odd, you must remember that the point of this game is to drink. Throwing curves and striking out batters makes the game too slow and low-scoring. Also, once you get a few games/beers under your belt, trying to follow the curves and play strategically is quite the challenge. Moving the pitcher on the mound is allowed, but curves of any sort are not.
Some standard gameplay etiquette should also be followed. The first two people to play get their coveted spots by calling "first game" when they enter the house/apartment where the game is to take place. As long as you don't leave the house or relinquish it in a bargaining move, the first game remains theirs. After a winner of the first game is decided, the two opponents shake hands and the loser is bequeathed two responsibilities. First off, he/she must reset the game. Secondly, the loser is designated beer bitch for the next game. The winner of the previous game gets first shot at controller, team and where they want to bat in the inning. It's good to be the champ...
The drinking rules for RBI are numerous, yet eerily satisfying
Drink OneGiving up a single
Giving up a stolen base
Grounding out to the right fielder
Each consecutive out after a 1-2-3 inning
Each consecutive foul ball after the 3rd in a row
Drink TwoFouling Out
Giving up a double
Hitting into a double play
Bunting out on strike three
Giving up a single to the pitcher
Getting picked-off or caught stealing
Drink ThreeGiving up a triple
Hitting into a 1-2-3 inning
Drink FourGiving up a double to the pitcher
Giving up a home run that stays in the stadium
Drink FiveEach consecutive 1-2-3 inning after the first
Giving up a home run that leaves the stadium
Giving up a home run that hits the lights (The Natural)
Grounding to the third baseman and having him beat you to first (the Tony Armas play)
Drink SixGiving up a triple to the pitcher
Giving up a home run where the ball is never seen on the way down
Drink SevenGiving up a homer that goes through the outfield wall or is clearly foul.
Drink TenStriking out
Hitting into a triple play
Giving up a grand slam home run
Giving up a homerun to Ozzie Smith
Giving up 5 homers to the same batter
Striking out an opponent with an illegal pitch
Permanent RetirementGiving up a homerun to the pitcher (yet to happen)
SocialsA Bop (aka Error)
The Statue of Liberty Play
The Computer Assistance Play